The Lawyer is Lifeless by Carly Winter

Author:Carly Winter [Winter, Carly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Westward Publishing
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

An hour later I strode up the walkway to the Gone, but not Forgotten Funeral Home with Ruby in tow.

“Ugh,” she said. “I hate funerals. So dang depressing.”

I smiled at a few other attendees as I entered and waited to sign the guest book. Even though I'd arrived a bit early, quite a few people mingled about.

“Isn't that dumb?” Ruby asked as I picked up the pen. “He's dead. He doesn't care who came to his funeral.”

When I was about to argue that funerals were for the living, not the dead, she gasped, pointed to my left and yelled, “Oh, my word!”

I turned and glanced into the room to find Stanley lying in state, his casket open, surrounded by white roses.

“Why do they do that to people?!” Ruby shouted. “Anyone can see he looks awful! This is the way people are going to remember him! He was ugly in real life and it’s worse in death!” She shook her head and placed her hands on her hips. “I'm so glad I didn't do this when I died. Burn me to dust instead of this atrocity.”

I wouldn't argue. Even from a distance, I noticed he'd been heavily made up. Keeping my eye on him, I walked into the room and slid into an aisle chair. The more distance between me and Stanley, the happier I was. Besides, the seat offered a great view of everyone in attendance.

“We've got to go pay our respects,” Ruby said.

“I'll sit right here,” I whispered, having no intention of going near Stanley.

“No, you have to go up there,” she insisted. “That's Ann standing next to the casket. She's got her eye on you and you aren't getting out of this one.”

I glanced up to find an elderly woman dressed in a black pantsuit staring at me. Rail thin, she stood next to the casket with her hands clasped in front of her looking like she'd rather be tortured than at the funeral. She stood next to another woman, who, judging by their similar features, was somehow related. Smiling, I approached her and she glanced around the room as if she wanted to run.

“Please don't,” she said. “I can't take it.”

“I'm sorry?”

“Don't tell me how sorry you are for my loss when you've been in Stanley's bed.”

Ruby burst out laughing as I stared at the woman, completely speechless.

“She thinks you're one of Stanley's harlots!” Ruby said.

“M-my name's Bernie,” I stuttered, determined not to look at the dead man. “Stanley was doing some work for me and I've never... been in... his bed.” Just saying the words left a bad taste in my mouth.

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. “I'm so sorry,” she whispered, bringing her hand up to her mouth. “My husband... he was a wanderer. I assumed... I shouldn't have assumed anything.”

The woman I thought to be related placed her arm around Ann. “Relax, honey. Just another hour or two.”

“It's okay,” I soothed, laying my hand on Ann's forearm. “It's a difficult time for you. I wanted to say that Stanley was a good man.

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